The height of nuevo-pretentiousness may very well be the rise of the food truck.

The marathon known as the San Diego Comic-Con only comes around once a year, spilling a bonanza of free swag onto the laps of every lucky attendee.

At some point between zero and first week, I became disillusioned with the process behind campus free food. Don’t get me wrong — I was still subscribed to that free food Facebook group. But my tolerance for awkward pleasantries with strangers was weakening — as was my ability to stomach tepid pieces of Round Table pizza.

Moving off campus is great. Not only do you finally have a place to call your home away from home, but it’s also far, far away from the stifling confines of the prison they call on-campus housing. So I was jazzed about moving out, that is, until I kicked in the door of my new home and discovered that the house was nearly as barren as Sarah Jessica Parker.