Cigars are pretty badass. Gangsters smoke them after killing people, billionaires put them out with wads of money and Bill Clinton uses their tubes to pleasure his interns. Best part is, you too, young college student, can feel the same power and sexual prowess our idols derive from a burning brown stick — all it takes is a short trip to Churchill Cigar Lounge in Old Town.

Though you’ll have to stomach Old Town’s faux cowboy decor to get to the dim-lit corner store, its vast inventory of different smokes — from strawberry blends to $65 boss-man picks — make it worth the neighborhood’s tortilla-plastered streets.

Even better, if you haven’t spent half your student loans developing a palate for spiced tobacco, a gruffy staff member whose throat has endured years of cigar indulgence will help you find what you’re looking for.

Beginners should try the Griffin’s natural robusto — a mild, mellow, five-inch smoke that’s fun to puff and only costs $12. Once you’ve picked your cigar, a Churchill employee will cut its tip, hand you some matches and suggest a drink that complements its flavor.

(Technically, you have to be 21 to even enter the cigar shop, but if you’re just looking to buy and go, they might let it slide. Plus, if you want to show off your cool new habit, your purchase is best smoked out in public or at a party, anyway.)

Once you have your drink in hand, either join the usual gathering of grumbly old clientele at the bar or hide away on the patio. All sex appeal and power aside, watching smoke roll out your mouth and into the air is a simple and unappreciated form of relaxation. It might even be enough to make you forget the lame Wild West statues and rose vendors creeping from behind.