One week in, and I can already tell my first, and likely last, online dating account (on the popular website OkCupid) is the best possible version of myself. Yes, I chose a flattering photo. Yes, I refrained from including the sarcastic answers I personally find endearing, but are undeniably interpreted as bitchy to those that are not well versed in Grade-A Los Angeles sass. And yes, I did click the button that said I like dogs even though I don’t, in fact, like dogs. I can tolerate them.