In the last week of its life, the Guardian’s Dignity submitted to an experimental treatment that included repeated injections of glossy advertising in an attempt to support its failing financial system.
While this treatment imbued the Guardian with the revenue it so desperately needed, in the end it served as a tragic final blow to feeble Dignity. And with that, Dignity departed quietly early this Thursday morning, as the Guardian was being distributed throughout campus.
It will be missed (by some). The Guardian’s Dignity was preceded in death by the usefulness of A.S. Council and the affordability of a UC education.
In lieu of flowers, it is recommended that donations be made to local independent media.
Senior, Revelle College